How To Get Selfish Right: Part 2

 
Hayley Carr - Life Coach - How to do selfish the right way

A Hola & Happy Day to you! I hope you’re rocking your wednesday all around the world, wherever you happen to be.

Right now, I’m in sunny Santiago, Chile!

Now, in this video, I’m not in Chile. In fact, I’m in Morocco, climbing a mountain! It was a beautiful experience. We climbed all night, in the freezing cold, totally under-prepared to reach the summit at sunrise. It was so incredible. I love doing spontaneous challenges such as this to keep me humble and feeling in awe of mother nature. And then I got too confident running back down and stacked it. MY gosh did it hurt.

This video however - I have to warn you about. It’s messy, and as I continue to talk, the sun goes down. But, you get to see some kick-ass Atlas mountain scenery.

Sometimes I get inspired, and when I have my video camera, I start to talk.

Listen to the message, and take action.

Last week you got some homework to do around being selfish, and this week, is a continuation of that point. We are going to take a deep look inside of your psychology around how you are currently programmed to think about the type of activity I gave you. And re-work it.

Take a look at the video, and afterwards, let me know on the blog what you are committed to doing selfishly.

I do have to warn you, without watching the video, that last statement is going to seem totally weird. But when you understand the point made here, it will revolutionise the way you start to live your life, and the way you consider the way you show up for other people in it too.

That’s worth iterating your day for.

**learnt that term here at exosphere.

When you’re done, leave me a comment. Let me know - How are you going to show up differently now and be selfish?

Here is the content from the video.

Last week I gave you a challenge to go out and be totally selfish and watch what comes up and see what happens. This week I want to talk to you and go back a bit and really help you to understand what I mean by being selfish. So if you're like most of the population, you probably would have heard the word selfisha nd gone Oh, I can't do that. And I want to ask you about selfishness. Because often-times, well, we are meaning making creatures and that meaning defines everything, it defines our life, the response that we have to life, and it defines the response we have to situations whcih may be challenging.

So I want to challenge you to do today to redefine waht selfish mean to you.

Now, most people when I ask them waht selfish means they are like are like oh, like greedy, self centred not thinking of anyone else but themselves.

Redefine what selfish means to you. Most people think being selfish as negative words come up not even negative words but the words that have negative meaning to them, like self centered or greedy or it has twang to it from when you were young like you were always told to share your toys.

I want to help you to redefine that word selfish and this is what I mean.

Selfish - the real meaning, is when you know exactly what it is that you need to show up in the world.

Okay. What does that mean

If you need to take 20 minutes and just be by yourself, because it means that after that 20 minutes you can be a good wife or a great partner or a great friend or a great brother or sister.

Then doing it would be selfish but you would come from taking that 20 minutes a better person.

What I mean is…

If you know what you need to show up in this world as a great person you need to absolutely do it, because otherwise you are robbing everyone around you of experiencing the force of you.

So, for example, if you really feel like you really need to travel because it is going to make you a better person but you feel like it is selfish because you're spending money or you should be doing this or that or you'd be leaving people at home or you'd be selfish to do it on your own. Then you need to reframe it becasue if you know that this is what you need to do in order to show up and be betterin the world.

Then you need to do it, but here is the clincher if you you take the time to travel or take 20 minutes to have a massage or read a book or meditate or swimming you have to then come back as a better person. you have to hit that mark.

I want you to think about the challenges that I set for you last week.

I want you to assess yourself. Did you come back from being selfish a better person after being selfish or, or were you kind of pissed that your selfish time was over and you were a little bit grumpy or more afterwards.

The key is, again, not just taking that time to look after yourself and do what you individually know you need to do in order to show up to be a better person.

It's about once you to take that time sowing up and hitting it. So, you know you're getting selfish right when people are encouraging you to keep doing it.

So when you take that class come back super happy and people are like, Wow, What is it that you just did like you have a certain je ne sais quoi about you. Keep doing it, you know you have selfish right when you are doing that.

If you are not being encouraged after taking time off you may not be showing up afterwards or, or you might be taking selfish time that is not really yours, you might be doing what you think is the right thing to do that everyone else does like a yoga class or whatever. It could be chopping down trees, whatever.

So again, you know you're getting selfish right when people are encouraging you to do it more and they're noticing how bright you are, how happy you seem to be.

Challenge number two - you haven't missed out from last week's post if you haven't seen that post,

You have your list. You wrote out all the things you could do in order to be selfish and you picked the scariest one , if you haven't, go and do it now knowing what I've just said, if you have.

I want you to pick the second one, and go do that and do it right.

Stay Curious, Stay open. The life you crave is so much closer than you think.

Love, Hayley x x

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