How to Take a Leap of Faith

How to take a leap of faith

 

I was feeling so much fear this morning. 

Ever wanted something so bad, and you go through that roller-coaster of yes/no emotions when you have the opportunity to actually make it happen?

Yep, that was me… This morning… Why do we do that? Why do we put off the best things for us?
I had a last-minute opportunity to work with someone I really admire.

It was sitting right in front of me, with the easy button right across the top.

But it was an investment that I didn’t want to front. A few thousand dollars.

Its sitting there, but it feels like too much to spend it on such short notice.

…….

“Yep, this is right, it’s exactly what I need and exactly who I want to work with. Of Course.”

“…Wait, no, it’s OK, I don’t need that, See? I don’t need that. It’s money better spent on something else. I can’t think about that right now. I have to many other things I’m taking on, like finding a new place to live. I can do that another time”

…….

I knew it was right, but I was scared.

Fear doesn’t show up any differently in round 2: Next Level. It feels the same. It feels the gosh damn same. New level, New devil as they say. {Tweet It}

I felt it.

And then she said this:

“Hayley, there’s investing in yourself, and your life, like buying healthy food… And then there’s being reckless, and spending on things that don’t feed you in any way at all… This is different again. Make the decision from your future self. Make the decision from who she is, and the support she needs. And the people she wants to be around.”

She was right.

I said yes, quickly paid the bill before my silly monkey brain got in the way.

 And then this happened…

- 4 new and very excited clients within an hour.

- Closure on 2 confusing relationships, through my own sudden spark of clarity,

- And a phone-call that I thought would be too good to be true. The dream apartment, in the new town, with all the bells and whistles, is available on Monday. Someone decided today that they weren’t going to stay. It’s for me. Right in the nick of time.

……….

That’s what happens when you take a leap and say yes. You make a statement to the universe, “Dude, I’m serious.”

But Here’s the catch:

You have to smile first, then the mirror smiles back. It doesn’t work any other way. And you have to keep on smiling. {tweet}

Think about who YOU need to BE to get where you want to go. And make your decisions from there. Not where you are right now.

The best decisions are rarely made from the same thinking that got you here. Go play over there from now on. It’s about time.

Tell me, if you have 2 choices right now. Which level would THAT person choose to play at? The one you want to be? Leave me a comment below here. What have you taken a leap of faith on before, and it all worked out?

I’ll tell you first in the comments below.

Until next time, stay curious!

Love,

Hayley x x

P.S – Watch the universe get your back, like the bridge that appears for Indiana Jones…

P.P.S – You have until 7am Sydney time March 6th to sign up to B-School.

Then you have to wait another 12 months to get started on your own dream. If you want to take a leap of faith here, I will help you make this happen right now with $3000.00 worth of 1:1 help from me for the entire duration of the course, for free, when you sign up using my special link.  Here are the details. Contact me if you have any questions or concerns. hayley@elitelife.com.au.

 

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What to Do with a Broken Heart: 5 Tips to Enhance your Heartstrings.

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I sat down on the bed.

Still spinning that the most intense 3-months of my life had just finished.

Still in another country’s time zone.

Exhausted form an 18-hour overnight flight. Too many stopovers.

Adjusting to the winter after being in an endless Summer for 12 months.

Not caring at all. I was here. Finally.

“Ok… we need to talk…”

What followed… was something that resembled my heart being vacuumed out of my chest, through my nose, dragging my stomach and intestines with it – and my voice box – and most of the oxygen in my lungs. And in a heartbeat it was all swept away from underneath me with a giant wave that changed my future again. Gone.

Sometimes it feels like that.

Quick… Like a Bus.

Sometimes it feels like a slow, dull, heavy ache that sits heavy in your chest like a permanent raincloud.

And sometimes it just feels like… emptiness.

It can last a day, or it can last… as long as you like.

Breakup Heartbreak is grieving for the alive and well. That kind of grief requires an inner kind of counselling. (Tweet It)

And for an intelligent high-achiever who likes to have understanding and a sense of control over her emotions, It’s highly-inconvenient, awkward, and Embarrassing. 

Left unexamined however, the ramifications are worse:

You lose your confidence.

You lose your engagement in life, your presence.

You forget who you were before you met this person.

You feel like something has been taken away from you.

You become bitter and cynical.

You do that needy thing. 

All not-OK.

But that doesn’t work for me for very long. It feels stuck.

What if this could be the very best thing that ever happened to you?

I love Heartbreakers. Yeah, I said that. Because I do. They have a very special place in the world.

I have this heavy belief that runs through everything I do.

Nothing is a mistake. 

If something (or someone) doesn’t work out, There’s something ahead that’s better. If its meant to be, it won’t pass me by. There’s something to learn here.

The faster you embrace this concept, the faster a breakup can be the best thing that ever happened to you.

And you become instantly free.

Here’s How to Do it, in 5 Simple Steps. 

1. Come back to now. Acknowledge your heart is broken, or sore, or bruised. Say it. Honour your feelings. Stop resisting it, and let it flow through you. If you can’t be present with whats going on in this moment, you can’t change your future. It’s OK to be hurt. Acknowledging it is what will heal you, and resolve the feeling. No more shovelling it down and hiding away. Be with this. Its happening.

2. Remember your position in this giant world. Remember in this moment: Everything is occurring exactly as it should. What’s meant to be will not pass you by. Remember, there are no mistakes. Right now, all the things you want, are already being taken care of, and its none of your business. Everything is in motion already. All you need to do is show up every day and be the very best version of yourself, and when the time is right, it will be there, and it will be perfect. Things didn’t work out right now, because there’s a bigger plan. And it’s none of your business. Just keep showing up here.

3. Make some space in your life to deal. Clear the decks and call in support. Let some of your peeps know you’re battered. Let them help you. Do what is necessary to give you headspace, and time-space. It may require surgically cutting this person out of your life for a little while, for the purpose of being able to remain friends later. Or not. It may require freeing up your calendar. Or not. And it may require some strict social media boundaries. And when those old feelings pop up rendering your inability to be in control of the situation, tell them to bugger off for a while. Stay right here. With this.

4. Get the lessons and take Action – There is a lesson in everything. This wasn’t a mistake. It’s time get present and gain perspective. Observe like an anthropoligist – no judgement. How did you show up? How did they? Was that right, and did it feel good? Why/ Why not? Take responsibility and use kindness towards the both of you. Here’s an activity. Take out a pen & paper. Ask Yourself what you loved most about this person. What do you miss most about this person? Write the list. These are serious indicators of things you were feeling fulfilled by from someone else, and not giving to yourself enough. An indication that you forget you are already complete. How can you give this to yourself?

Do That. Now.

5. Forgive and be Grateful. People come into our lives for a reason, and sometimes, just a season. Don’t kid yourself with ownership and entitlement. It was perfect. Get that it was perfect by understanding their reason for being in your life. What do you now know about yourself?

The Forgiveness Mantra: “I forgive you, I love you, and I’m sorry. And, thank you for showing up in my life and delivering everything I needed to see within myself so I can remember to feel complete as I am”. Later Skater.

Having a broken heart is not easy, but when its broken, it’s necessary. So roll with it, and embrace how its going to change you.

Now, over to you, you smart thing you. Even if you’re not currently heartbroken, I encourage you to give this exercise a go. It’s seriously liberating, so it’s fun! Think about a past relationship and practise presence and perspective. Leave me a comment. Which of these 5 steps are you most excited about? Which is the most challenging for you? What are you now going to give yourself, in honour of the living grieved? And what are your favourite strategies for dealing with heartbreak?

I can’t wait to read your comments!

Lots of love,

Hayley “Heart-breaker-lover” Carr

x x x
P.S. – It works. And it will heal you

P.P.S – Want $3000 worth of personal mentoring and 24/7 support from me while you navigate your online business? Click Here. (This off expires March 5th 2014)

 

Beans Spilled: Work with me 1:1 For Free, + B-School!

 

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…You Ready?

…You want IN?

I’d love to support you.

Righto! I made a little video for you with a conversation about my experience with B-School, How I know I can help you best, and how to make sure you get the right bonus for you.

You’ll learn about the principle I think is most important in getting the most benefit out of B-School, the 3 big shifts that occurred in my own life that transported me to where I wanted to be in an instant, and the 3 biggest questions I got asked from my B-School Clients last year, and what I’m doing to answer them for you as an extra this year. You’ll also learn how to make sure that you don’t miss out on your bonus through technical error – from me or anyone you choose to take up on their offer.

It’s my goal to help you get the results fast that back up the fact that B-School is the best decision you will ever make for your business (and your life). I believe so wholeheartedly in this that I am clearing my schedule and I’m gifting you my 1:1 time to help you nail it.

Here are the bonuses you’ll be gifted with at NO COST if you decide you’d like to have my support for the duration of B-School:

  •  2 x One-On-One, 1-hour Laser-Coaching sessions with me. My eyes, Your life & Business. We go deep, and we get big results fast.  (Value: $1100)
  • 2 x GROUP coaching sessions, packed with beautiful content and support, and your questions answered (Value: $250)
  • A Video-Workshop on the tool I taught to all my last-years B-School clients that gives you an unlimited source of product and service ideas, organised neatly into how much money they are going to make you, and which clearly helps you pick the right offerings that are both easy and fun for you to deliver. (This process had people paying off B-School before it finished last year) – (Value: $250)
  • A Personal Website Overview, Feedback & Brainstorming / strategising on products, services and specialties YOU can offer to add value to the world and share your gifts – (Value: $550)
  • Lifetime Access to my Secret “Elite Life Club” Facebook Group Coaching Page where you can ask me any question, any time, forever. ( Value: $499)
  • My E-Book on the mindset it takes to Run a Fun and Profitable Location-Independent Business. ($18)
  • 24-hour email access to me for the entire duration of B-School. (Value: $1000)

Total Monetary Value: $3168

But Seriously? Who cares. You’re getting it for free.

True Value for your Life & Business: Priceless. Nothing beats having the right person to talk to, right when you need them. I promise to make you feel as supported as I can throughout the entire process. You’re taking a giant step towards your future, backing yourself and going out on a limb. I respect that.

So, If you’re ready to roll and you want me in your corner…

 Here are the steps to Sign up for B-School and Grab this Awesome Bonus:

  • Step 1: Clear Your Cookies (use the appropriate browser for you. It’s good to do this every now and again anyway)
  • Step 2: Come back when the cart is open, and Click Right Here Baby! And Sign up Straight away. No distractions! (Link will be live when Cart is open)
  • Step 3: Celebrate! You’re coming to B-School and we get to hang out together for 8 weeks! Yay!

HERE IS THE EXACT LINK AGAIN.

If you have any questions at all, hit me up at hayley@elitelife.com.au. I’m here to help you, and I’d be delighted to work with you. =)

See you in the Next episode of HCTV! 

Love,
Hayley

P.S - The cart is open from 19th Feb 1pm Eastern / NYC Time, (or 5am Thursday 20th Sydney Time.) It will close on March 5th, 3pm eastern (and 7am March 6 Sydney time). There is plenty of time to register, and places are UN-limited, so it’s all good.

2 Insider-Secrets from Marie Forleo that Change my Life and My Work Every Day.

 

2 Insider - secretsHowdy!

If you want to love the job you have, start a new creative project, enjoy your own company more, take off on an adventure, or start a new life for yourself in any way through business or new insights, you’re going to love today’s tips.

Marie Forleo taught me 2 (+1 extra) tips back when I did B-School (for the first time) in 2012, that have helped shape and change my life every single day. It’s what keeps me productive and moving towards the big things that are outside my comfort zone, and kick any negative habits or limiting beliefs to the curb. (What a legend!)

Check out the video below, (and keep your eyes peeled for my excellent Irish Accent!)

You’ll Never Feel Ready to Get Going on the Biggest moves of your life.  So Feel the fear, and start anyway. @hayleycarrtv (Tweet it!)

Don’t forget to take action now after watching this. I’d love to know – and why not declare it to the online world here – what you’re going to start before you’re ready. Doesn’t matter what it is! It could be the house-work, or filling up a bottle of water… Point is, take action and engage…

If you want to check out Video #3 from Marie’s free B-School training series where she’s introducing past B-Schoolers and taking you behind the scenes into her multi-million-dollar-makin’ “office”, It’s right here. You’ll love it. 

And, If you’re interested in doing B-School, and you want my 1:1 support, for free, I’ve kept my calendar open just for B-Schoolers, so keep your eyes peeled later on today for a very special bonus offer from me.

Thanks for being here, and stay curious.

Love, Hayley

x x

 

 

How to Not Suck at Life… 8 Mindset Patterns that Give you More Options in Life Every Day

How to Not Suck at life

This new year was brought in with a last-minute road trip. My gorgeous friend Susana gave me a shout and invited me to spend the New year with her. So, in a swift moment I borrowed a car and drove all the way up to Noosa, in QLD, and was blessed to have celebrated the new year with her, and some incredible online homegirls. These are some of the raddest women I have ever met – and for most of them, this party was the first time we had actually met in person! It still makes me giggle when I remember that we’ve never seen one another in actual 3D, yet we’ve connected deep for such a long time. What I adore most about them, is that they each embody most of what I cover below, in their own way. Each of them are big, beautiful balls of love, ready to have real conversations and gigantic hugs the moment you walk in the door… amen to that.

Driving home back down south, I was reflecting on last year again and realised just how lucky I was in some situations. I could have been hurt, lost, maybe even died. But each time not only did I come out OK, I came out better for it. How the hell did that happen? 

One of the distinctions I live my life by is Filter for Lessons. So while drivin’ down the highway for hours on end from northern Australia, green juices in tow and Cafe Del Mar fluttering over my eardrums, I filtered. I wanted to define for you what, at the core, are the differences that make the difference between people who can flow through every crazy high and low, and people who get affected by the slightest hiccup. And here’s what I found. 8 Themes and Lessons from 8 months of Travel, that will make life sweet no matter what… Here we Go!

  1. Be present. Next time you’re feeling stressy, ask yourself why. Then notice if it’s something that is actually happening, in this moment, right now. Most of the time, it’s not. You’re on a bus, or sitting at your desk at work reading emails. Most of the time when we are gettin’ stressy over something, it’s because we’re attaching feelings – of something that happened either in the past, or could go wrong in the future – to right now. Being present is a lifelong practise and giving it half a paragraph doesn’t quite suffice in my books, but nonetheless it’s number 1 on the list, because its’ the most important. When I was stuck at the airport in Cuba, not knowing if I would make it out of the country, and with not enough money to go back to my Casa (ATM’s don’t work in the country, and the Internet is Illegal – another post for another day), I was having some seriously stressy thoughts of what may happen to the little blonde white girl sleeping on the floor in a Havana airport. Not to mention I’d have a list of clients waiting for me to call them later in the day! It wasn’t helping my situation in thinking clearly. I got present and focused my intentions instead on what I wanted, and what I could do. I wasn’t actually dead or hurt yet, I was just sitting at a cafe waiting to hear the news of if they could fit me on a flight… When I got back to the present moment, a lot of the stress disappeared, and I could think clearly and get myself in the right state of mind to deal with what was happening.
  2. No forcing - Everything is in its perfect order. One of my coaches Vienda Maria is a huge advocate for this one, and she reminded me of it so many times through my travels. Sometimes we really want things to happen, and actually, they’re not meant to happen… or, maybe they are, but not just yet. Forcing it won’t help. Having the underlying belief that everything is always in perfect order, exactly as it should be, happening for a reason, allows us to go for things at the best of our ability, and have massive trust that if it doesn’t work out it’s not meant to. Sometimes it’s because we are meant to be doing something else, other times, it’s because we may be being kept out of harms way. Embodying this one makes you the least stressed out person on the planet, because no matter where you are, it feels perfect. That’s a delicious feeling.
  3. Home is within yourself and nowhere else. Picking up and leaving Australia so quickly, (10 days notice to myself) and then accidentally staying for 8 months instead of 2 weeks, meant that for a little while, I felt like I was flying all over the place, and couldn’t ground myself. **A surprise to many, I am quite the introvert, and a homebody. Just as much as I love being around people, I gain my energy from being alone at home.** Well, without a home for the foreseeable future, centering my world, my wellbeing and my feeling of groundedness on the dependance of a space is a mindset that doesn’t match the lifestyle I wanted to live. It was time for an upgrade. To travel the world with a belief that I can only really be grounded when I am in my own space with my own things or people is a complete fail in that scenario. That haven and place of grounding was completely taken away. In further filtering for lessons, it made me think about if thats the type of mindset (or programming) that really suits anyone at all! It doesn’t. Personally I was forced to change the way I think about it, or I was going to fly off the planet. But for you, there is an opportunity now to observe if your thought patterns are actually as robust as they could be. In other words, which mindset gives you more options in life? What I realised was, to walk around in life feeling like you can only feel good when all the external locusts of control are in order – Your house, your friends, your belongings, your own toilet = Less options for living a rad adventure. In short, you’re sucking at life. Not sucking, means allowing yourself to have plenty of options, and expanding yourself to feel complete and comfortable in more situations, Ideally, any situation. In other words, finding home within yourself. So without all the external stuff, turning inward, I found home through things that were dependant on nothing outside of my own skin. A strong meditation practise, Plenty of sleep, loads of water, Journalling, and movement that wasn’t dependant on having a gym or a class to go to.
  4. If you speak with love on your tongue, you can say anything. I wasn’t aware of how much I lied until I got to Costa Rica to teach at the Trailblazers Retreat and met Mike. OK. Lying is a strong word, but really, I was. Lying to myself, mostly. Mike ran a games workshop which we all got to take part in: Authentic Relating. Within minutes I found myself telling complete strangers (who I was about to teach for!) all the things I feared, was most ashamed of, excited about, and more. To speak completely openly about your deepest, darkest sh*t was my worst nightmare. And yet, it was so easy when I learnt how to do it properly. I realised how often in the past, just to make things easier, I often had one conversation going on with the person in front of me, and another in my head. Especially in my relationships. The biggest skill in speaking authentically – meaning, saying what you really are thinking and feeling right in the moment – is to be totally vulnerable, and speak as if you have a filter of love on your lips. That doesn’t mean you taint the truth, it means you say what you need to say, knowing that the person in front of you is a human being who is doing the best they can, and you speak to them with compassion, honesty, and above all, truth. I started digging deep with every question someone asked me, and bravely answered with the truth, even if it felt like it was going to hurt, or it was uncomfortable for me to admit. As a result of practising this in every moment, my life’s baggage was dropped on a beach in Costa Rica. Every relationship in my life has catapulted to depths I never thought I could have imagined, and I was free and forgiven from everything holding me back and moving forward… Ultimately, the only person who can ever make you feel forgiven and free is yourself. (Tweet it!) Holding on to the things that make you feel trapped and “bad” is putting yourself into emotional prison. Speaking the truth with love on your lips makes you a real-time authentic human being. Not to mention, it shows you pretty darn fast “who yo’ peeps at” on this ride we call life. Games-free, raw conversation? Yes please.
  5. The entire world is giving you feedback every single moment. One of the first mindset tools I took on from an early age as a martial artist was that there is no such thing as failure, there is only feedback. Every time I failed in the ring, or in the dojo, my instructors reminded me to look for the feedback (or the lesson) and adjust my training or my technique. It worked a charm, I won 9 world titles and was undefeated. Today, I use the same technique on a macro scale. See, I like to play this game… I like to imagine that everything in the world is directing me and giving me signs, or guiding and directing me to the outcome that’s best for me. I like to call it “the universe”. Some of my religious friends have the same belief about God – you can call it whatever you choose. All I know is, it makes my life pretty darn easy. If something is not working, I take it as a feedback loop, and adjust course. It’s all about paying attention – That’s the bit that’s hidden from view, yet it’s the most importantAsk for a sign or guidance, and it can be put in front of you in the strangest of ways. A website you accidentally land on, an email that floats into your inbox, a page open in a book, a phone call, conversation with a random, or, as what recently happened to me, someone showing up to your undisclosed doorstep with tears in their eyes and a thank you note for doing something I was too scared to consider doing on a larger scale. I choose to believe that everything is happening for a reason, and its my responsibility to pay attention and make sense of the puzzle. Sometimes the same scenario will occur with 3 separate people at different times, and it’s a scenario that I don’t enjoy. Rather than taking it as a coincidence, and feel like a victim, I know I need to change something, because I am the common denominator. It’s more than empowering to take responsibility for your life, and feel supported from everywhere.
  6. Pay attention to what energises you. One sunny afternoon in Santiago I was feeling incredibly overwhelmed and fed-up, despite being inspired by my work and surrounded by friends. I was on Skype to a dear friend, and he gave me this simple, yet classic tip: Pay attention to what energises you. Do more of that, and less of what doesn’t. I then compiled a list of all the things that were draining me, and all the things that were energising me right in that moment. Paying attention to your energy levels as you go about your day gives you so much insight to weather or not you are participating in life at a level that ignites you, and you’re surrounding yourself with the right people and situations. However, surprisingly, sometimes even the most exciting of activities, and the people we love the most, can drain us, just for a little while. But being aware of a problem makes it half solved. Being able to manage your energy moment to moment while you’re going through a big transition or period of growth especially, allows you to show up at 100% when the time is right for you to show up, and how to look after yourself if you need a bit of TLC.
  7. If it’s not a hell yes, its a no. In every moment we are slammed with advertising, events, and opportunities. Too often we say yes out of obligation, pressure, or even worse: fear that this is as good as it might get! …Fail… Then, you end up in half-ass situations. You half-ass your effort. Or, you receive a half-assed effort. But the biggest punish of all about doing anything that’s not a hell yes, is that we waste time and precious attention on things that aren’t meant for us. They are meant for someone else. We live in a world of endless opportunity and an abundance of whatever it is that you desire. Trust yourself over anyone or anything, that if you’re entire body isn’t screaming out HELL YES, it’s a no. Straight up. Not a “Maybe”, or a “We’ll see”… Just no. And, just know, there’s something better around the corner. Ahh, life just got a little simpler.
  8. SHOW UP to your goals and dreams. They don’t happen on their own, funnily enough. And Making a vision board, hanging around the right people, going to all the workshops and visualising ‘till your eyeballs fall out still doesn’t cut the mustard. You want it? Show up. Every damn day. As Dave Booda puts it, “99% commitment is hard as hell, 100% is a breeze“. Want a new body? Do all the mindset stuff, I’m the worlds biggest advocate for it. But then, please… show up. Show up to your kitchen where you prepare yourself to nourish. Show up to the gym where you slog it out for a few moments. And show up to yourself with so much love when you need to stay on course. Not just once, every moment. That’s how it happens. And believe me, it’s far easier when you dive right in and engage in the task at hand.

Now, It’s up to you. Seriously. Give them a go. One at a time. Do it well.

I’d love to hear from you! What do you think of these? Which one resonated with you the most? Which one are you most committed to working on? Leave me a comment and let’s start a discussion. =)

Until Next time, Keep it Simple, Make it happen, and Do life well, Darling.

Love, Hayley x x x

Sionara… An Ode to 2013

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Well hello there!

 
It’s a whole new year… in fact, we are half way through month one! Welcome to 2014 - clearly, we are not slowing down!

 
So to update you on where I am, in case you haven’t been following my Facebook or Instagram, on Christmas Eve I flew back to Australia and surprised my family for Christmas! It was amazing, and I got it all on film… hilarious! I went to a tonne of effort to make sure nobody found out my sneaky plan. I scheduled posts on Facebook to make it look like I was still in Colorado while I was on a plane, and I had my cousin Liz come and pick me up from the airport and devise a plan to get into the property without anyone seeing us! I even made a video while I was skating on the lake in Colorado with my new Go-Pro – but never sent it out!

 
I think a serious ode to 2013 and a tip-of-the-hat is in order. Last year was a Tipping-point year.

 
If you had told me 12 months ago to this day that in a weeks time I would be ending my 5.5 year relationship with a man I could see my life unfolding with forever, then take off for a 2 week holiday and never return to an actual home, speak to groups of wonderful people in three new countries, fall in love again, fall out of love again, have a car accident in Cuba, Salsa dance in Chile, skate on a frozen lake in Colorado, party on a rooftop in New York, “find myself” on an Osa Beach in Costa Rica surrounded by the most incredible people I have ever met, have High Tea in London, swim with whale sharks in Mexico, ride a camel into the Sahara desert of Morocco, do a nudie-run up a country road in Northern Ireland with a bunch of friends at dusk, and run my business and live in ten new countries around the world… I’d have laughed at you, and told you to go and get back on your unicorn (note: no unicorns harmed in the writing of this post)…

 
But here I sit in the very same room this all began in 2013, and it did happen… all of it…
… quite amusing really. 

 
I laugh at that girl sitting at this very workshop thinking about her 2013 this time last year, I laugh! (I’m hanging out up North teaching some workshops to Teenage girls for my bestie Katie Pitsis at Free Spirit Girl). That girl had no clue what was in store for her. I had last year all mapped out so well… none of it involved what was above. Not because it’s not what I wanted, but quite the opposite.  I have dreamt of taking off and living my life on the road for the last 10 years, but it always felt it was too “big and different” for me to admit that it was exactly what I wanted. “I might lose people. I might not know myself if I let go of everything I know now…” a plethora of excuses, all very usable - There’s an entire post on this coming – and yet what actually transpired last year was way better than anything I even could have imagined. Mind = blown.

 
2013 was nothing short of incredible. Completely life-changing. But I’d be blatantly lying if I told you I was finished processing everything that happened, because truly, every time I thought I had some time to rest and reflect, the next pivotal puzzle piece got snapped into place, and the puzzle changed shape again.  That’s what it felt like. Being constantly surrounded by people, and generously adopted into families and friends houses around the world is so mu fun and full of love and excitement, but it does mean you have to be “on” most of the time, and being an introvert, thats challenging for me to sustain when I gain my energy from being solo.

Now in a flash here I am home, a different person – No, not different, just more me - and observing how this new shape fits the hole I left behind when I waved goodbye to my teary mum at the airport, brushing off her angst with a quick wave and, “see you in 2 weeks!”.

 

 

It occurred to me at once that this was truly the first time I had ever been this alone in my life, and encountered life as nothing but me, and yet I had never felt stronger and more connected. I made decisions that scared the shit out of my friends and family, (and even myself sometimes!) yet I had never been so sure in my life. I left my country with no plan but to follow my heart, completely intuition-guided, and yet I have never felt more like I was surrounded by loved-ones and completely “on-track”… ever.

 

 

As I have been slowly catching up with my friends and family face to face, I get asked, “What was the best/ What was the worst part of the trip?” Truly – every single place I went, I met people that changed my life, and had a special experience with them… everywhere was special… everywhere was the best… everywhere was the worst.
You’ll hear all about it right here on the blog. I have hundreds of almost-finished posts and videos ready to go for you… Part of me wishes I could have brought them to you in the moment, and I really was kicking myself at the time for not “keeping up” with my “blogging schedule”  but looking back, it’s perfect like this… Retrospect has far more to offer me and you in this context. If I had spent my time making those videos instead of being present, I would have missed so many important moments and it would have been forced… I’m so not into that.

 
So, In review, Here are some of the big moments, the highs, the lows, and a few snaps for you. As you may know if you’ve been following the blog for a while or come to one of my workshops, I believe that everything in your life is simply feedback. On this trip, every step of the way there were special people and experiences that brought pieces of a puzzle together, and I’ll be sharing more about it all as I both process it, and learn from it myself…

 

Here we Go! A Snapshot of everything….

2013 1
::: Brought in the New Year with a gang of my favourite friends and my little sister on Bondi beach. I kart-wheeled from Bondi to Bellevue Hill to the after-party and almost threw up… but so worth it.
::: I was the maid-of-honour at my best friends most gorgeous backyard wedding.
::: I ended my almost 6-year relationship with a man who both changed and saved my life. (This one is still a little too raw to post all about, but there are tonnes of lessons here that I’ll surely be sharing with you in the future)
::: I decided NOT to compete at the upcoming Karate World Cup and Defend my Titles.
::: Hung out at an Ashram with my cousin for a weekend and worked on an organic farm
::: Did a skydiving and life-planning workshop with my friend Peter Shaw and jumped out of a plane with zero fear, zero adrenaline. Bliss.
::: I cut off all my barbie-hair. You know what they say, “A woman who changes her hair, is about to change her life…”
I got my first little bit of fame – someone recognised me from my blog in the local shopping centre while I was shopping for stationery!
::: I found a message in a bottle!
::: I moved out to my own apartment – living alone for the first time in my life,
::: I went through B-School again, and this time got to coach some incredible women through the process…
::: My darling friend Nicola Chatham came to stay while she was on her road trip down south. I got to meet her beautiful Jordie dog before she passed away.
::: Did my first Photo shoot
::: Finally met the gorgeous and oh-so cool Tara Bliss in person at the Self love & sisterhood event after swooning over one another via the interwebs for almost a year. We piggy-backed. It was rad.

2013 2
::: I “decided” to go on a little holiday, to NYC and Mexico – shopping and laying on a beach… No idea at the time there were much bigger plans that lay ahead…
::: I attended a “5 years from now” party, where we all dressed up and played our 5 years-from-now-selves. I adore interesting parties!
::: I decided to stay a little longer in New York and give myself a taste of the location independent lifestyle…
::: I met Jackie at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition Live Conference in New York. We are almost the same person growing up on different sides of the world. She told me to go to Cuba. So I did.
::: I went to Cuba. on 45 minutes notice.
::: In Cuba, we had a run in with the police, a car accident, and I almost didn’t make it out of the country. But I learnt a lot. The family I stayed with still hold a place in my heart to this day, their generosity and love blew me away, and it truly made the trip (along with my Aussie travel companions who I met in a 1950’s style cab at the airport!) I’m aching to get back there and see them.

2013 3
::: Mexico. Whale sharks, scooter-gangs, full-moon beach parties with german friends, foot massages, life-affirming and inspirational conversations with new friends, and ceviche…
::: I lived on Jackies couch for a month and had the time of my life in New York City. Her generosity and friendship at that time blew me away. I’ve truly found a sister for life.
:::  I went on my first “American-Style”date. Actually the first date I have been on probably ever. It’s a whole different ball-game in New York City!
::: I spontaneously agreed to go to Bermuda over a few drinks one evening. ‘Cos you can do that in New York. So off I went to Bermuda! Tick!
::: Jackie and I got ourselves some fresh ink. The Freedom tattoo.
::: I took off to London to run a workshop with my friend and mentor, Peter Shaw. Then we went to Ireland and did the same thing!
::: We stayed and partied and nudie-ran up the country road while staying in an incredible house in Donegal by the water in Northern Ireland with the gorgeous Eileen, whose hospitality and generosity blew me away.
::: Simple pleasures: we were gifted a bag of Scallops by local Fisherman Gerry, and cooked them up to perfection learning how to open them from a youtube video. Perfect.
::: My clients became world Champions at the tournament, while I was rugged up in a rocking chair at a beach house in Ireland. The team of champions I usually train with back in Australia made me this video…. It made me cry…

::: I worked from a Villa in Spain.
::: Took a quick holiday to Morocco. Sweated my buns off in 49C heat, Surfed in Agadir, Climbed Mount Toubkal, Fell down it, Rode a camel into the Sahara Desert, and made 7 incredible friends that I will never forget. Oh, I also received my first marriage proposal from a berber Nomad… hmm… got the nomad part right?!
::: Drank High-tea and partied in London with my gorgeous family-friend/long-lost sisters that I met when we billoted them for the first Karate World Cup in 2000 Australia. Lifelong friends.
::: Had a life-affirming conversation over 9 hours of dinner and drinks in London’s Soho with a lifelong mentor from karate days that I now consider part of my “international sister posse”. <3
::: Spend 10 days solo in a gorgeous apartment in Berlin. Total solitude and lack of language skills meant a lot of isolation. Got a lot done that week!
::: Spent a spur-of-the-moment night being shown the bright lights of Dusseldorf, before flying out of Frankfurt for Costa Rica. Thank-you Travel-hacking!

2013 4
::: Spoke and listened at The Trailblazers Retreat. This week was nothing short of transformational for me. I met 20 of the most incredible people I have ever met, who are going to change the world. There were too many significant moments there to mention, but I walked out having shed walls, a creacked-wide-open heart, and with fresh perspective. Solid.
::: Nude Photo shoot. It was on the list at the start of 2013. happened organically, and I shall say no more ;)
::: My friend Jen came to visit me from Australia in Costa Rica before she began her new adventure in Florida. We had one of the best weekends I have ever spent. So much belly-laughing I can still feel my 6-pack.
::: My sunglasses got lost in crocodile infested waters… and when I went back in to get them a croc swam over my foot!
::: I decided that this is the way my life will be from now on. No more going “home”. The trip got extended and I flew to Chile 3 days later.

2013 5
::: Living in Chile for 3 months. Attending Exosphere. The people, the tension, South America, The Chileans, The Honesty Club…
::: Celebrating my 28th birthday in Santiago, Chile – at a French restaurant! Coming home to a bunch of flowers on my doorstep.

::: Long-Distance Love
::: Long-Distance Disappointment.
::: Primavera Fauna festival in the Andes mountains, and seeing MIA perform live, with 5 fabulous friends. Pinch me!
::: Being introduced to Voxer App. Walkie-Talkie hillariousness here we come.
::: Lake-Skating over a frozen lake on Colorado, USA
::: Re-enacting a scene in Estes Park from a Dumb-and-Dumber movie… surprise life-goal ticked off… hillarious!

2013 6
::: Discovering my manifesting powers. I had a car I needed to sell, but didn’t want to do it. So while I was in Chile, the universe arranged a car-accident involving 3 children kids in Australia, where nobody gets hurt, and I walk away with insurance cash. Without lifting  a finger except to type “LOL” to my poor friend who was looking after the car… Thankyou!
::: Exploring streets and cafes of Denver, Colorado with friends and family, and experiencing snowfall for the first time in my life. My aunt and I had a snow fight in her backyard, and I made a snow angel. (typical!)
::: Surprising my family in Australia on Christmas Eve. I called them on skype and rolled through the front door when they answered. I adore surprises, and it was such a delight to be able to have the freedom in my life to give them that. There were tears!

2013 7

 

>>>>>>>>>>

 

Yikes! Now, here we are in 2014: Quick as a flash. All of that actually happened…whoah. Let me pause… breathe… ok… and I’ll be sharing stories and everything I’ve learnt with you as we tread forward into the year. But its time for me to let it all go in paradox… in order for whatever is about to happen, to now unfold, space needs to be made. Last year fell together so perfectly it was almost as if it were written into my DNA to happen somehow. It was like a collection of stories and lessons and unfolding right before me that are going to serve me for the rest of my life! (And now my hope is for you too with my sharing them!). I’m so grateful to have had the experience, And yet to look anywhere but to right now, through a filter of the lessons I got, would be filling up some of that fresh space with what’s not needed. I feel that would be disrespecting it.

 
So, onward we go, and here’s my promise to you, dear. I promise to be here and now; Not in what was, but what is. Actions over Intentions. I even chose a word to remind me. Engage. 

 
Engage in the present. In the person. In the activity. In the moment. In the Action. In the nothing… with absolute enthusiasm. Let’s see how this goes.

 
Join me? If you had to pick a word for this year, what would it be? (I’d love to see you Engage in this one! ;)

 
Next week I’ll be sending you my guide to the biggest lessons and life-themes I learnt from 8 months traipsing the world like a gypsy, and how you can apply them everywhere in your own life. Hint: These themes will make you cooler than a cucumber and “Happy as Larry” (as we like to say in Australia!) even if you live behind a desk this year.
Until then darling, keep it real and do life well…

 
Love,
Hayley
x x x

Are you Always achieving your goals, or waiting for Permission?

Continued-Productivity-&-Discipline

Happy Hump Day!

I’m still in Santiago, Chile, (actually, by the time you see this, I’ll have landed in Denver) and as you’ll see in the video, its a little windy on the roof!

One of my favourite things about this place, is the mountains that line the city – its something I’ve never quite seen before, and its so beautiful to wake up to – especially because I’m not typically a “city girl”, and I’m staying here for so many months!

Todays video, well, all my videos really, are a snippet of fuelled-conversations that I happen to have with myself and others.

Have you ever felt like you know what you need to be doing, but you’re just not darn-well doing it?

Like you need more…. discipline… energy… focus… drive… [insert buzzword here]?

Check out todays video for another broadcast of dissapointly simple advice… you’ll laugh… and maybe cry… but then you’ll go and get some shit done…

You’ll learn the one simple distinction to make sure that you always achieve your goals. =)


“Humans Don’t set goals for the feeling of looking at someone else’s ticked-off to-do list.” Tweet It. 

I’d love to hear from you, and lets get real. What are you ACTUALLY going to do now, to start getting those projects/aspirations moving? Leave me a comment below and make yourself socially accountable. ;)

Love,

Hayley “I’m alllll alone” Carr.

(You’ll understand when you see the video)

x x

P.S – Early next year, I’m opening up some fresh coaching packages, both group-style and intensives. It’s the coolest thing I’ve ever created, and I’ve been working on them here in Santiago.  They are going to rock your socks off. Currently, I’m all sold-out until the end of 2013! But if you want to be the first to know when they are released, sign up for my free weekly video coaching. I send out an email once a week with fun-infused videos and extra personal scoops on my devious adventures around the world =)

How To Get Selfish Right: Part 2

How to do selfish the right way p2

A Hola & Happy Hump Day to you!

I hope you’re rocking your wednesday all around the world, wherever you happen to be.

Right now, I’m in sunny Santiago, Chile!

Now, in this video, I’m not in Chile. In fact, I’m in Morocco, climbing a mountain! It was a beautiful experience. We climbed all night, in the freezing cold, totally under-prepared to reach the summit at sunrise. It was so incredible. I love doing spontaneous challenges such as this to keep me humble and feeling in awe of mother nature. And then I got too confident running back down and stacked it. MY gosh did it hurt.

This video however – I have to warn you about. It’s messy, and as I continue to talk, the sun goes down. But, you get to see some kick-ass Atlas mountain scenery.

Sometimes I get inspired, and when I have my video camera, I start to talk.

Listen to the message, and take action.

Last week you got some homework to do around being selfish, and this week, is a continuation of that point. We are going to take a deep look inside of your psychology around how you are currently programmed to think about the type of activity I gave you. And re-work it.

Take a look at the video, and afterwards, let me know on the blog what you are committed to doing selfishly.

I do have to warn you, without watching the video, that last statement is going to seem totally weird. But when you understand the point made here, it will revolutionise the way you start to live your life, and the way you consider the way you show up for other people in it too.

That’s worth iterating your day for.

**learnt that term here at exosphere.

When you’re done, leave me a comment. Let me know – How are you going to show up differently now and be selfish?

Stay Classy!
Love,

Hayley x x

P.S. If you want some cool insights and extra goodies, Every week I send an exclusive, private email to my tribe with secret sauce that I only share with them. Its got an extra pack of encouragement and more personal information about the way I live my life. They also get the first inside scoop on when my sold-out stuff becomes available. Why don’t you join the list?

The Backwards Teaching of the True Art of Selfishness, part 1

Happy Happy Hump Day!

Now,

… Selfish…

What does it mean to you?

Greedy? Exuberant? Self-Centred? Nasty? Not sharing? Horrible?

Do flashes of your childhood or teenage years crank up? How many times have we heard.. “Don’t be selfish…” with a negative connotation attached to it?

Well, in this weeks short video, we are going to dispel all of that garbage. This is Part 1 of understanding the true meaning of selfishness.. And it starts with an activity…

Play along with me, and just do it… You’ll fully appreciate next weeks video when you do.

Leave me a comment below the video, and tell me what you’ve locked in. Also, Tell me about your experience of locking it in? Did you freak out? Did you feel like it was over the top? Did you hesitate?… and what about after it was done… how did you feel?

I love reading all your comments and responses, so be as detailed as you like.

Happy Hump Day!

Catch you next week,

Love,

Hayley “Two Pens” Carr x x
(You’ll understand when you watch the video)

P.S. I’m at a world heritage site in this one.. It was magic. You’ll also get to see my great mate and Mentor Peter Shaw who I ran the Peak Performance workshops with!

It’s Back Online.. But she’s not coming home.

not coming home

It all happened here these past 2 weeks.

 

By the time you get to read this, the wheels are long-set in motion. Read: 3 days. (Aah the joys of being in transit).

 

I had made you a video from an infinity swimming pool I came across wandering the streets of Manuel Antonio Costa Rica a few days ago. It was the most incredible sunset I’ve ever seen. But the footage didn’t load properly, and now I can’t show you. Thats OK. I needed to write to you anyway. I feel like this needs to be typed.

 

I want to give you an update, and let you in on whats been going on behind the scenes here. It’s a lot. So I’ll attempt to keep it short. But if you don’t want to read the whole lot, in summary, I’m alive. If you want to know my announcement, scroll to the end. (But I think you get it from the photo)

 

On the 2nd May 2013, I took off on a 2-week “holiday” which I extended to a month, just to see if I could do a trial run of the whole “location independent” dream I’ve held for the past 10 years. I had 10 days to prepare.

 

That was almost 5 months ago. I kept extending the “trip”.

 

It’s been kinda weird though, because I left thinking I was coming back soon, so I didn’t really say goodbye to anyone properly. Maybe that was a good thing! It was definitely easier to get on the plane than some of my other wandering counterparts.

 

Every day now, there’s a new corner. A new opportunity. A new experience. A fresh perspective. A new person who changes my life. A thrilling conversation. An adventure.

 

It’s addictive.

 

But I still felt this deep sense that I needed to come home at some point, and get back to the real world.

 

When I arrived in New York, I thought I was the only one in the world who wanted to live like a gypsy nomad and make it work. I was oh-so-wrong. Its like the entire universe was cracking up laughing at me for thinking I was alone in my dreams for so long – because as soon as I stepped off the plane, I met a series of people who have shaped the direction of my life, and who are ten steps ahead.

 

In these past few months I’ve been connected to some of the biggest game-changers in the online world, and working with my new coach Vienda Maria to help me transition to this way of living. Its extremely fun!

 

I’ve been so busy busy busy. I’ve been taking photos, making videos, travelling to random countries on a whim, climbing mountains, trekking the sahara desert and dancing by the fire, surfing waves in morocco, swimming (accidentally) with crocodiles, and purposefully with whale sharks, and coaching my fabulous clients from all kinds of interesting places. I’ve been Building a new website and teaching workshops all around the world. Masterminding with incredible humans, and re-vamping my business.

 

It hasn’t all been easy and fun though. I’m learning so much and being challenged and tested each step of the way. I had a run-in with a rock on a highway while driving in Cuba that missed my face by 15cm. We nearly died. I have been stuck in airports and had flights delayed. My computer has changed time zones on me and my calendar has fucked up the times, so I’ve missed meetings. My videos don’t upload in most places. I don’t sleep very much. I have no kitchen to cook food in, and international flights are expensive when you book them 2 days in advance.

 

I’ve changed time zones 22 times in the past 18 weeks. Maybe more. I’ve been in over 35 airports. I’ve been moving extremely fast, still sometimes carrying a hangover belief system that I need to see everything in a rush, because “at some point this adventure comes to an end”.

 

Last week though, was a game-changer. I honestly feel like a new person.

 

I attended the Trailblazers Retreat in Costa Rica with a handful of incredible extraordinary people. I was invited as a workshop leader, amongst 6 others, and I taught 2 incredibly fun workshops though the week on my favourite topic, and one that is incredibly close to my heart – body negotiation. But we also got to be students, and hear everyone else’s awesome-sauce. And everyone had something new and different to speak about.  Just being in that room with so many amazing souls, changed my life. It was a week I will never, ever forget.

 

Have you ever had one of those experiences? You walk in like, yep, just another day, and your mind is completely blown sideways?… yep… it was one of thooooose weeks =)

 

I feel like my heart was ripped wide open for the first time in years. In the most beautiful of ways. Never in my life have I felt more supported and connected to a bunch of strangers in such a short space of time. I don’t think I have ever cried so vulnerably in my life. I don’t think I have ever spoken so openly from my heart. I burnt a journal in a fire ceremony that I’ve been carrying around with me since the start of the year when I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years. It had a lot of pain in it. (Thats a post for anther day) I ran into the ocean in the nude with 2 friends in the middle of the day. I told my life’s story to a group of people for the first time – the whole story – including the bits that have previously been edited out. I let go of a lot of old belief systems, and opened up to a new way of being. I brought everything I was ashamed of to the surface and dissolved it. I shared some new techniques I’ve been playing with in my coaching to the group, and they liked them. I watched the sunrise every morning over the ocean and meditated. I woke up to the sound of howler monkeys outside. And we danced. My goodness did we dance.

 

It was completely unexpected, and oh-so-needed.

 

These peeps are some powerful muthas. And I like being around them.

 

And that’s why, I’m not coming home.

 

…Not yet anyway.

 

My plan was originally to start making my way back across the USA, catch up with some buddies, and head back to Australia for Summer, but my body wasn’t into it. I always know when something is right, because my intuition speaks up. My gut instincts scream at me… and that didn’t happen until 3 days ago when I realised my biggest opportunity for growth is not going home and “ending the adventure”, getting back to the real world, but expanding and diving head first into what I know is possible. I have no idea where this is going to lead me. But I know it’s right. This is my real world. Right Now.

Last week I let go of the guilt I had for living my life the way I do – I feel like its an amazing life. I felt bad that I had left people behind. I felt guilty that I get to do this, and they don’t. I felt like there were conversations that needed to be had, and goodbyes made… and that I had to go home to have them.  But I don’t have to go home to feel better, or to say what needs to be said. I just have to get better at doing that from far away. I’m better off continuing the madness that makes me so happy, and I’l stop when It’s time for me to stop. I’ll be back to Australia soon, but I’ll be moving on again.

I am so excited to officially dive into being a “citizen of the world”. Its comforting to be in a place where I feel safe and home within myself, wherever I happen to be. The feeling doesn’t require me to be in a country, or a house, or a certain temperature, or with my mountains of belongings. Its just me, and my personal entertainment system. (you, and what I get to share, and experience).

 

Everyone is better off when we are living as the biggest expression of ourselves. We vibrate at a higher level. We sing louder. More laughs, more adventures, more connection, more freedom. More Life.

 

As soon as I realised this, the next chapter fell right into my lap.

 

A few days ago I was accepted into a 3-month long “incubation-style” program for startup entrepreneurs. We are getting mentored by some big guns, for 11 weeks, 9-7 pm, in Santiago, Chile. Its called Exosphere. And a bunch of my best friends are mentors and participants. Its going to be another game-changer.

So I’m flying one-way to Chile, and because I know that that’s all I know, and that this is where my mind will once again be totally expanded, I’m planning on mapping out the next year or so from there. On the fly.

I am so not prepared, but, I’m diving in head-first. I’ve rented an apartment in Santiago to myself for 3 months, which means I’ll be unpacking my suitcase! I arrive at 3:30am the day the program starts, and I have no idea what to expect. But I know its right, because I made the decision to go from the right place. My Body.

I’m ready for the next step. And I cant wait to share this next level of living with you…

 

Pura Vida!

 

Love,

Hayley xoxo